Identity is crafted by our attachment to our memories and the words of others. I build a vision of myself based upon the opinions of others and my past experiences. I hold on to these ideas, words, images and concepts and build a castle of memory in which to live. I avoid the actual moment, the actual reality of what is happening right now. The reason is that the castle appears safe to me. It is my own little fortress. I know what each room leads to, pleasure or pain. It is preferable to evade the unknown in favor of the familiar. But to be engaged in the present is to acknowledge that there is no castle. We call them memories but they are visions of a something that no longer exists.
We enjoy remembering our best highlights or thinking of where we could be in a few years rather than who we are and what we are doing now. And this seems to be the very thing bringing us problems. We keep thinking of something other than reality. So we become forgetful, forceful, negligent, absent minded, unforgiving people. How ridiculous.